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My father has always been doing cruel things to my brother and me. He tied up my brother with his legs pulled apart and then through apples at his groin until he had to be hospitalized. Even the town sherrif is afraid of him because of his cruelty. Everyone hates him, are we all in this C-S conditon?

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Kealm, Your father appears to be stuck in the unforgiveness of the C-S condition. He has lost his identity of manhood and fatherhood. Therefore he relies on cruelty to find purpose in life. I thinkyou are willing to forgive him but you strongly hate the things that he does. The does not constitute being in the C-S condition. When you vow unforgiveness then it will have you just as it has your father.

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I have spent over 40 years hating my father. He was always such a lier, cheat and sexual pervert that I could not endure being anywhere close to him. He is dying of cancer and asked to see me. He asked me to forgive him for how he threated me. I said I would but I have been unable to. Does this mean I could have this C-S condition?

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I have been searching back into my family tree. For the last 8 generations the fathers have hated and been unforgiving to their fathers. What are the odds that I can break free, I am only 19 years old and i have plenty of reason to not forgive my father?

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Lorne L. Yes there is a very high probability that your unforgiveness is the result of you having committed yourself to being under a vow not to forgive your father, Use the body and blood of Jesus to break that vow. Then ask the Father for his grace of forgiveness. Then turn everything that has been bothering you over to Jesus including the pains that he caused. You will then find that you can forgive and stay in forgiveness to your father and others.

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Fraser, tracking ones forefathers for 8 generations takes a lot of effort. Why did you seek it out? Getting free of this C-S condition is not easy nor is it like lighting a candle and making a wish. Satan never helps you forgive. Start by praying Ruths prayers, and ask your Father for His grace to be able to forgive. Turn over the things that you have not been able to forgive and the pain associated with it. Then keep thanking the Father for your freedom from the spirit of unforgiveness and the effects of the C-S condition. It may not be an easy road but it is effective.

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Do women ever feel secure after they have married a man with this C-S condition? Should they try to end the marriage before children come or right after?

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Can a persons hatred of their father be transferred so that they hate God? I know that I hate my father and have become unforgiving towards him, and I think that I do not trust God for giving me such a bad father. I do not know if I can forgive Him?

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Darryn K, The transferrance of hatred from one person to God is a very common condition. The transferrance of unforgiveness is also very common because sets up irrational and illogical fears. In order to defend these fears we associate the cause with everyone, but especially with the Father. The reason it becomes so hard to deal with, is because, you have declared a lack of trust is God and His love. Thereby locking yourself into the C-S condition. You have to declare that you do trust the Father, then ask Him for the grace in forgiving. This will start a change.

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Chester we hope that maybe Alanna or Charlene will answer your question. It is a bit out of my area of being able to answer.

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When a person is in this C-S condition do they try and compete with their children? And also compete with people who have no inclination that someone is competing with them? I think my brother is in this condition.

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Chester, when a woman marries a man with this C-S condition any security she had before is eroded. These men see their wife's security as a threat so they work to remove everything and everyone their wife finds security in, including the sanctity of their marriage, her family and friends, and especially Jesus. He is sowing his own insecurity into his wife to get her to worship him.

Whether or not a woman should end the marriage, and what the timing should be, requires prayer and direction from the Holy Spirit.
If the woman is not pregnant then she should not have children with him before divorcing him. As soon as a child is born the needs of the man with the C-S condition escalate because she can't look after his emotions anymore. The needs of the child and recovering from child birth don't allow for it. He becomes jealous of the children and simply uses them as tools for controlling the mother.
The children are in a constant state of turmoil because they can't handle the pain the father is in and they want the mother to be perfect and compensate because she's the only stable thing they have.
Eventually the children just want the father to go because of the unrest; they want to love their dad but find it impossible to be around him because it is so painful.
If the woman is pregnant and a great deal of stress being put on her, a time of separation might be needed where she goes to stay with relatives or friends during the pregnancy.
Shalom

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Kealm,
Does your brother do a lot of lying, is he into unforgeness to his father, and have your heard him evaluate people in such away that you wonder where that came from? Let me know.

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Cole C. My brother never forgave our dad for imbarassing himwhenhe was 12 years old. The took up lying right after that. He seems to want to write people off very quickly especially if they do not meet some undiscused standard that only he knows or understands.

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Alanna and Charlene, Thank you for the great insight. It sure helps get hold of a understanding of this problem. I think that it may be more common than most people understand.

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Kealm, Try asking your brother when you see him doing something offencive to his son, "I see that you are treating your son just like dad treated you. You must have loved being treated in such an evil manner when you were young. He has the C-S condition and needs a shock to see it.

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I have that hating my father has been very easy, trying to find the strength to forgive him and love him has been excedingly hard. When he keeps telling you that you were born an outcaste and must stay an outcaste does not help beable to forgive him. He seems to curse everyone and everything.

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My mom says that my father hated his father and grandfather. My brother became so hateful of his father that he killed him and tried to kill my grandfather. Should my brother ever have a son will he try and kill him because of the seed sown and the unforgiveness that runs so deep in our family?

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Pashak, I have to agree that hating ones father can be very easy. And when they continue to do wrong, hurtful and demeaning things it becomes harder and harder to find things to love about them. I would suggest that you start by learning to reject his labels and curses in Jesus name. Then declare outloud when you are not in his presense, Father God I choose to forgive him and I choose to show love to him for he does not know what he is doing. Then say I choose to bless him with reprentance and forgiveness of himself. This is always the best way to start to learn to walk in love toward ones father.

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Rosealee, You have suffered a double trauma and a betryal. I suggest that you read up on them in the A to Z section of the Freedom Church of God. Should your brother ever have a son and he has not been healed by Jesus first, then his son will kill him. Once the wrong seed is sown into a family it just continues to grow because one generation does not seem to learn from the mistakes of the previous generation. Without prayers in the spirit, there seems to be no known solutions to this problem. The C-S condition is extremely difficult to break in any family. We pray this helps you understand it.

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I have hated my father since I was three years old. For years he made me watch as he would rape my mom and sisters. I cannot seem to find a single reason why he should be forgiven. Would it not be better to just shot him and put him out of his misery.

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Alanna and Charlene, Do you teach your children how to forgive and how to lay down the pain that their fathers inflick upon them by having the C-S condition.

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Do people with this C-S condition have a problem giving meaningful gifts to others. My mom says that my dad has this condition, and I truly believe it. She says that he has a bad tendancy to give things that are meaningless or that are emotional to him. He doesn't give what a person wants or needs just what he thinks that he can manipulate others with.

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As I write this blog, I need you to know that I will not be alivelong enough to even read an answer. I have swallowed enough pills that nothing can stop it effect. The pain of being told over and over in my sixteenyears of life that i wasneverwnated and thatiwouldbe betteroff dead makemem haatelife.

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To all those who have been abused and oppressed by their fathers. What Adam chose to do was very wrong. There are always solutions that do not include killing oneself. Even finding another place to live is a possible solution. But the best way is always to get to know Jesus and what He wants for your life. Every moment your live is over a value beyond words and should never be squandered or wasted or disposed of so quickly. Death is a problem, never a solution. I have lived long enough to know, and I thank God for every day He gives me and has given me. So please all of you who are considering suicide, think out side of yourself and find Jesus.

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SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. I was in my teens when my father shot me in the back and left me paralyzed from the waist down. I thought of killing myself too many time to count or remember. But I still got married. I still forgave my father even though he still wants nothing to do with me. And this summer Jesus is bringing about healing in my body. I am able to walk for more than 10 minutes at a time. And even my wife has seen her car accident injureries healed. All the bad in ones life can be turned around by Jesus. Life realy begins when we get to know Jesus intimately. It is worth the effort.

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Adam has lived in so much pain that he thought that he had to shoulder all by himself, that he could not see the solution. And because no one was willing to emphasize with that pain, he had to kill himself as the only solution the demons and his pain would let him see. He had no one praying for him, therefore the angels of God could not carry out the assignment that they were given. Teens need prayers in the spirit inorder to survive the pain that Satan moves to inflict so that they want to kill themselves.

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Is it a common thing for fathers in this C-S condition to drive their children to such a state of worthlessness that they are willing to commit suicide? My brother keeps saying that the only way, away from his father is to commit suicide. Should I try and say something to him?

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When you find out that your parents hate you wish that you were never born, what should you do? My parents have expressed their misery at having me around because they claim they have no privacy. I live at boarding school for 9 months of the year and they want me to stay at school for the upcoming two week holiday. I wanted to see my grandparents but they are going to Costa Rica for two months and are planning to leave the day I would get back. I have know idea of why they realy hate me, should I end my pain now in suicide?

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The blog never ceases to amaze me at the extent and time this site has been active. Problems here must be way worse than anyone ever thought of or foresaw.

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Chester, I know Charlene has gone through Ruth's prayer for freedom from the C-S condition with her children and laying down the pain related to it. They are learning to keep turning it over as new pains are created. My children are younger so I haven't gone through the prayer with them yet but they do lay things down every new moon and on sabbaths. It requires prayer for the children and sometimes standing in the gap for them so they can come to the point of being ready to lay this kind of pain down to Jesus. Before when I would talk about it with my son he would act uncomfortable, upset and talk about any other subject he could come up with. This last new moon he was very responsive and focussed on laying the pain down and forgiving and I plan to go through the prayer with him now that he is more ready.
One of the keys in teaching the children to forgive is telling them they are forgiven when they do something wrong.

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Thank you for your response. I have two young sons, 7 and 9 years. I wanted to know if you tell them things that was done or seen by them that you lead them to forgive on or you let whatever bothers them at that moment be the guide as to what they forgive?

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I have been coming to terms with my unforgiveness to my father, and it is very difficult because ofthe anger that he caused. I think that I may have hurt my sons trying to get even with my father, yet differently that what he did to me. My sons seem to afraid to discuss their pain with me.

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Mylinda, Fathers with the C-S condition, have a very strong tendancy to attack their children into hopelessness and worthlessness. The children have a strong leaning to suicide and murder. They often squelch it in booze and drugs. The longer they are under attack the more certain that they are to try to escape. Without prayer and emotinal support their outlook is very bad.

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You may have dealt with this at some time in the past, but I need to know how these C-S condition men justify the right to sexually judge another? What makes them think that they are the 10 out of 10 judges as to who another person is in their heart and mind? And why is it that only their satisfaction is what matters?

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Cole C. What is the best way to stop a father from creating so much hopelessness and worthlessness into a childs heart so that they want to kill themselves?

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Darnell, I have found such men to be so self absorbed that they cannot help but think of themselves as the sexual saviors of the humnan race. And because they see themselves as saviors they are also god and therefore must judge everyone as to whether or not that person is worthy of receiving their seed. Hope this helps.

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Darnell, Because they have vowed never to forgive their father, they also need to show superiority to their father as to who fits into their world and who does not. The more things and people that they sexually evaluate the more superior they are to their father. And therefore the more superior they are with the more thing and people that they conqueor.

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I look a lot like my father, and when I was in my teens people could not tell his teen pictures from mine. He phone today to tell me he is sure that I am not his son and he never wants to see or hear from me again. He said he is cutting me out of his will. My mom said that he has never accept the DNA test she had done when he first started talking this nonsense. If I hate him because of his rejection do I have the C-S condition or does my father?

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Terry O., your father is no longer in his right mind and can no longer make sound judgements. This is what happens to people who have refused to forgive. They even deny the blessings that they have been given in life. His condition will continue to deteriorate until his brain can no longer function and he then dies. Forgive him and be at peace because even if he does change his will he is not in sound mind and it will not be upheld by the court.

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Mylinda, The question you posed has caused me to do some research on the subject. Because a father is so important in the formation of a childs life identity, the abuse from an unforgiving father cannot be adjusted by the mother, no matter what they do. Access to a loving grandfather, or uncle will be more benifical than 100 hours of attention from a mother in any given week. The next best is a trusted male friend of the family.

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My brother treats his son with such abusiveness that it is unbarable to be near either of them. He seems to want his son inorder to heap his pain upon even time he argues with my dad. My husband loves the lad but my brother will not allow his son access to my brother. Is there anyway of helping him as he is only 12 years old?

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If we stay in unforgiveness to our fathers, does that keep us out of the kingdom of God, or just the first resurrection?

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Chester, it is encouraging to hear from someone who is moving to change and seeking healing for their family rather than defending themselves. The first part of leading your children to forgive is to forgive them, forgive yourself, and as you said you are already working on, forgive your father. Your sons will need to see some consistent change and that they will not be condemned by you, no matter what they do, before they will ever feel comfortable discussing their pain with you. Whatever the wrong behavior was, they need to see you acknowledge that it was wrong and ask for their forgiveness. This does not mean going into details about what happened in the past. They also need to see you speak out and act on what the right behavior is instead. It is best to pray and bless them that the Holy Spirit bring to their mind the things they need to lay down. Sometimes you could suggest general categories, such as arguing, to help them get started. For specific things they saw or went through, you can declare you stand in the gap for them and confess the pain and unforgiveness and turn it over to Jesus, then declare you cease standing in the gap and return to being yourself, and speak blessings into their lives. You can also pray with them for the spirit of forgiveness to come into your lives.
We bless you with wisdom and the strength to forgive and stay on the path to freedom in Jesus' name.

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Chester, I would like my children to turn over every single event that ever hurt them. However, to tell them would overload them with pain. What I have done is talk to them about how they've been feeling, point out to them how I can tell they feel that way - the behavior that shows it - and I teach them about the consequences for not giving the pain to Jesus. For example, if one of them hits and screams at their sibling over a small matter I tell them that is not who I know they are, so what caused them to get so upset and act that way? Then I explain how when we hold a pain in our heart it grows and wants to come out so it causes us to hurt other people and ourselves, so what pain might be in there that they need to turn over to Jesus?

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Alanna, thank you for this most informative responce. It helps me in a great many ways. God bless you.

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Jamie, Unforgiveness to your father may not prevent you from eventually being inthe Kingdom, however it means a complete NO to the rapture and the first ressurrection. Unforgiveness is a slave master that moves with mercy on any one willing to hold its hand. Get rid of it now, ask the Father for the grace of Forgiveness.

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Alanna, that is a very good procedure, obviously Holy Spirit inspired.

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My Aunt Grace was in a car accident this morning, she is my favorite aunt and my dad hates her. He told me that if I go to the hospital to see her that I can back my bags and never come back. I am sixteen years old and I realy want to visit my aunt. Any ideas on what I should do.

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Lionel. I would go visit your aunt regardless of what your father thinks. Pray for his peace but show love to your aunt. I would pray for her also.

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Lionel, it is important that you see your aunt even if it is secretly. It is the right thing to do. Praying for her is also important, however you need to realize that your dad is sicker that your aunt. He also does need forgiving and prayers. For some unknown reason your dads hatred of your aunt has entered an extreme paranoia, it is important that you do not get caught up in it.

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My mom hated me from before I was born. She was nothing but mean, abusive and degrading. I was the youngest boy in the family so everytime she got mad at my dad she took it out on me. I started to hate my dad because of her abuse. Does the trouble I have forgiving my mom and dad give me this C-S condition.

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Terry what did your mom do that you think that she was abusing you? And are you prepared to get free of the pain by accually forgiving them?

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Betty G, Whenever my mom was upset with my dad she would hit and then kick me repeatedly in the groin. She never once told me she loved me, I had to eat last at any meal unless my grandparents were there. She never once bought me any new clothes, I always got the worn out things from my older brothers. I had chores to do but never my older brothers.

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Terry, I can certainly see why there would be unforgiveness toward your mom and dad. One abusing you and they other doing nothing to protect you. But forgiveness is very important for you to have a life. We are praying for you to be set free from unforgiveness.

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Terry , your mom has the spirit of the hag upon her. They are noted to carry out such activities with a vengeance. If so she is not incontrol of anything that she does.

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How do you know that you are loving your neighbor the way God wants done when I see nothing but reasons why I should hate everybody like my father does?

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Charlene,have you noticed that peace or relaxing comes over a home when the person with the C-S condition has to leave town and go to work somewhere? Do your children feel anything different when he leaves for out of town work?

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I had to stay at a friends for a couple of months while my parents are in Europe. I think my friends father is this C-S condition type of person. He is always angry, he is always having accidents and things just seem to breakdown around him for know visible reason. Why is this happening?